K I S S I N G
by Demented Lobster
Summary: ..."Naruto and Hinata, sitting in a tree..." Sai sang, "K-I-S-S-I-N-G..." NaruxHina, featuring the epicness that is Sai. Warning: Failure attempt at romance, and one swear word. -Has been rewritten-


_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G…**_

**I wrote this at 1 am.**

**I guarantee, you won't enjoy it.**

**Enjoy, everyone…**

**(I rewrote this, because the last one was horrible. And it's still horrible, but I don't care. DX)**

**~*~**

"N-Naruto?!" Hinata cried as she dropped her hot cup of tea, staring at the blonde who climbed up to her windowsill, with a rose in his mouth.

"Ne?" he said, with wide eyes, "What's wrong?"

"You're clinging for life on my windowsill, with a rose in your mouth... Perhaps you'd mistaken the Hyuga compound for Sakura-san's house..." Hinata pondered, before gasping loudly, "Oh! Maybe this is a genjutsu! Kai! KAI! KAAI!!"

"Whoa, whoa, wait..." Naruto said, starting to climb up slowly. Hinata screamed loudly, and bawled like a toddler, "Hinata, calm down... I know it might be that time of month, but still..."

The heiress just kept screaming and bawling like a baby, before her father walked in.

"What the hell is going on?!" Hiashi shouted, "We're trying to sleep here! And who are you?!"

"... Gomenasai, Father... This is Naruto-kun..." Hinata said, immediatly calming down as he gestured to the confused blonde, who waved awkwardly to Hinata's father, the rose falling out of his mouth, "Naruto-kun, this is Hyuga Hiashi, my father..."

Hiashi nodded, before leaving the room in silence.

"... So this isn't a genjutsu." Hinata said, "What are you doing here? Why are you here, and not Sakura's place?"

"... Ino-chan dumped me..." Naruto said sadly, looking to the ground, before he perked up and said cheerily, "So you're the next best option!"

Next best _option_.

_Second_ option.

Well, Hinata thought that was fair enough, since she'd finally gotten him...

"R-right..." Hinata said, "But why not Sakura-chan?"

"She dumped me, too..." Naruto said sadly again.

So, now Hinata was the _third_ option.

Yay.

Better than nothing, anyway...

"So, since we've hooked up, I'm going to take you somewhere!" Naruto said, grinning widely, as he grabbed the heiress by the wrist and jumped out the window.

~*~

"... A tree?" Hinata said, looking out at a moon-lit Konoha, "You took me to a tall tree that looms over Konoha?"

"Yeah, my dad wouldn't like me sitting on his head again... I did that with Sakura-chan..." Naruto said, "I've done this a million times, and this never gets old..."

"It's beautiful..." Hinata said in awe.

"Nah. I'd say it's okay." Naruto said, shrugging, "Because you're sitting here in comparison."

Hinata blushed deeply, as Naruto inched closer and closer to her face, until their lips touched.

"Ooh…" Sai cooed, taking a picture of Naruto and Hinata kissing with his professional camera, "I have to show this to Ugly…"

"N-NANI?!" Hinata gasped.

"Sai!! Don't you dare!" Naruto said, angrily snatching the camera from the artist. Sai giggled.

"Naruto and Hinata, sitting in a tree…" Sai sang, "K-I-S-S-I-N-G…"

Naruto brought his fist up to punch him.  
_Hard._

"First comes sex, then comes marriage…" he recited, Naruto getting angrier with each word he sang, "Then comes an… Abrupt… Tragic… Miscarriage…"

Naruto got put off-guard as Hinata stared at him, blushing.

"Then comes blame, then comes despair… Two hearts broken, beyond repair..." Sai sang with wide, anxious eyes, "Naruto leaves Hinata... Then he takes the tree…"

The couple stared at him as he clung to the tree for his life, looking down sadly.

"D-I-V-O-R-C-E…" Sai said depressingly, before snatching the camera off the blonde, winking and giggling madly like a little girl, "Ja ne, losers!"

He then jumped down before the blonde would form several shadow clones and run after him.

"SAI, YOU FUCKING JERK!" was all Sai heard before he and his camera were crushed by a Rasenshuriken.

And that's the story of how Sai turned into a pile of muck and organs near a tall tree looming over Konoha.

**~*~**

***throws camera to you***

**Now review and throw the camera back to someone else, or Naruto will crush YOU with a Rasenshuriken!**


End file.
